Dear Mr. Baby Delivery Stork:
This place is chaos. Feathers everywhere, puddles of coffee on the floor and more glitter than a Vegas bachelor’s party. My mother keeps pushing red clean buttons, but the only clean button that works is on the oven with the porcelain coated oven racks.
And what’s a fella got to do to get his diaper changed around this joint? Please return immediately with delivery documentation.
I think this sprout got planted in the wrong field.
Somebody get that kid a napkin.